currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
