Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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