just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
