By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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