we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
