I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
