first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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