We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
