mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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