If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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