you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
