Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
whose parrot is this?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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