Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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