shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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