she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Church boner. Awkwardddd
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
