On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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