I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
