I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
