that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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