i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
