Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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