Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
