i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
