she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
