Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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