You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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