I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drake has all the answers
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
