Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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