just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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