I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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