Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
