a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
