It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize