I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
