I heard we made out
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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