she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sarcasm needs its own font
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
