Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
