This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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