I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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