So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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