smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize