Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
