Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
