I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
