Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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