I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
