I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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