also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
