i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
