Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
