every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I would fuck him just for his dog
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My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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