Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
