how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
