Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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