do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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