I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize