I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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