Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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