my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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