its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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