All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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