Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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