I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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