Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
